Re-Writing Christmas Carols

I love Christmas Carols.  I know a little bit of all of the songs, and almost all of most of them.  BUT, I also like to re-write them to fit my mood.  Who are we kidding.  I like to re-write most songs to fit my mood, but there is just something special about Christmas Carols.

My Christmas House

When Pitman was decorating the outside of the house (at my urging) on a beautiful fall day, with the sun out and the temperature hitting 60 degrees, I updated my Facebook Status to read "Oh, the weather outside's not frightful, and the sun is so delightful!!  So Pitman won't be late, lets decorate, decorate, decorate!!!"  Oh, in case you can't figure it out, its to the tune of "Let it Snow".

No, not MY potty.
MY potty needs to
be available for
immediate use.

So, today I'm thinking about re-writing the 12 Days of Christmas.  It will be titled "The 12 Days of Pitman Christmas".  I don't understand where they get 12 Days of Christmas.  I celebrate either 1 or 25+ days... not 12.  But, regardless, I already have the first verse.

On the first day of Christmas, Pitman gave to me, the stupid-assed stomach bug.

That's all I got right now.  I can't think.  I'm trying too hard not to keep my head out of the toilet.