Dreamland & Nightmares

I love to sleep.  No, really, I love it!!  I like to take naps, I never want to wait until bedtime.  I have this king size bed and get this little 1' sliver all to myself, unless the puppies are over snugly, then I get pushed out of the bed, but even so,  I just love to sleep!!  And dreaming is fun, too.  Except the nightmares.

Not my Uncle Lee's painting,
But just as creepy.

When I was young, my standard nightmare was a GIANT Uncle Sam pulling a Godzilla in CNY and separating me from my family.  We blame the Uncle Sam on a huge and demented painting my Uncle did that was left facing the room and bed I used when visiting my Grandmother Wratten.  But, without fail, that would be the go to nightmare guy.

The scariest dinosaur in the world!!

Then an ex-boyfriend of mine took me to see Jurassic Park.  This wasn't one of the reasons he is now an EX, but it should be.  Come ON, Germy!!!!  What would possess you to take someone of such a sweet disposition and quick terror to see a movie where animals eat people?  From that moment on, Uncle Sam was replaced by a Velociraptor.  Man, those things would pop up everywhere, and unexpectedly!!!!  End up at school, naked, late for a test for a class you didn't even know you were taking, get in to the testing area, VELOCIRAPTOR!!"  Car goes over a bridge, into the water, you start to try to escape, and next to you is a velociraptor!!!  If I had a dream that would get a little steamy, next thing you know, POUNCED ON BY A VELOCIRAPTOR!!!!  Really makes you wonder why I like sleeping so much, huh?

Queen Elizabeth comes
to me in my dreams often.
We are Friends.

But then I became a full fledged adult, with grown children, and adult worries.  That was when my nightmares took on new theme.  Gone went the days of Godzilla as Uncle Sam.  Bye Bye Velociraptor!  Now we have a new theme...  Its Christmas Eve, the stores are closed, and I just realized I have no presents for anyone to put under the tree.  Yep, have no clue where the stockings and the tree are, and there are no sugar plums to be seen.  We do have the occasional twist to the theme...  I just had a baby, we are very excited, I realized I hadn't feed the baby since I brought it home from the hospital, actually, I haven't seen it in a while, where did it go?!!?!  BUT WAIT!!!  Its Christmas Eve and the stores are closed and I have no presents!!!!!    Or, I'm outside the Big Ben in England having a smoke with Queen Elizabeth, laughing about how we have the same name but I don't have a crown and she does.  She laughs and say's she'll give me one tomorrow, on Christmas morning and all the stores are closed and I have no presents for anyone for under the tree!!!!!

What Velociraptors look like
while Guarding Flocks of
Sheep in London

Heard of Sheep on a London Bridge

Please understand I very rarely ever take heavy drugs.  I don't like the way they make me feel.  Even worse, if these are my normal dreams, I'm afraid of what will happen with the help of pharmaceuticals.  I can see it now.  Uncle Sam & Queen Elizabeth will be standing in front of Big Ben, teasing me with cigarettes.  Then I realize its not ME they are teasing... they are giving treats to the velociraptors who are guarding all my 100,000 children that I forgot I had.  I start to panic, wondering how I'll get Christmas presents for all of them, let alone remember their names.  Remember their names?  Hell, I don't remember even meeting them!! As a few of them (and they look a lot like sheep) get away from the heard, they start to jump in the river.  I go in after them, because they are my children and I need the wool to spin for a competition I'm in the next day, which is Christmas.  As I go over, I wonder what the hell you give 100,000 sheep for Christmas anyways.  Not that it matters, the stores are closed.  Now I'm wondering what is more disturbing.  My actual dreams or the ones I make up as an example of why I don't like to take hard drugs?