Happy Anniversary Baby, got you on my mind....

Our Wedding Day
and First Family Photo

Today we are celebrating our 14th wedding anniversary.  I have a lot to say on the matter, mostly "Holy CRAP!!  That's a long time!!"  May of you may not think its that long.  Considering Cassie is 13, and it seems like just yesterday that she was born, maybe its not that long.  However, if you've ever lived with Pitman, or if you are Pitman living with me...  trust me, its a LONG time!!!  I'm watching all sorts of relationships fall apart around us, and its hurts.  These people seemed a LOT happier than Pitman and I, and yet we are still going strong.  Why?  Pitman is too stubborn to leave.

Serious.  I've told him to leave a few times... he said no.  Many times through out our relationship and marriage, I've told him I'm done.  He said he wasn't.  Do you know how hard it is to be married to a selfish, pigheaded, stubborn narcissist?  What makes it easier is to find out there is a reason WHY he is that way.  Things really have changed since he was diagnosed with Autism.  No, its not an excuse, just an explanation.  Trust me, he gets away with nothing.  But something else the diagnosis has done is allowed me to be even more blunt with him.  (Yeah, I didn't think that was possible, either!)  I can not play games.  If I don't like something, I have do deal or tell him I don't like it.  We are still working on him not being afraid to tell me when he doesn't like something I say or do.  He's coming around and doing great, though!!  I may be a bit of a bitch and on occasion can possible be a little wrong....  and he's learning its ok to tell me that.

Robert & I when I finally graduated College

CONFESSION!!!  I'm not the easiest person to live with.  I have suffered from depression and control issues my whole life.  Pitman was warned, and accepted me for who I was.  In the past few years, we've added anxiety, a touch of OCD, and the beginnings of agoraphobia.  I pick fights to keep from having to go places.  He ignores them and makes me go.  Pitman has dealt with this for years and accepted me for who I became.  He doesn't like it and fights me tooth and nail, but that's what I need, and he still didn't leave.  He may have made some mistakes in this time, and I told him to leave, repeatedly, and he didn't.

Now we are going through another huge issue.  My new diagnoses of Chiari Malformation, Cervical Cranial Instability, and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome.  As I've posted in the past, I'm looking at brain surgery.  (shameless plug..  if you'd like to contribute or share the fundraising link, please click here:  Brain Surgery Fundraiser )  The symptoms that go with these things are debilitating.  I wont go into details, because I only whine to Pitman.  Why?  I feel safe with him.  I can tell him anything, and he'll either hold me while I cry or he'll say something that'll make me laugh.  He'll get me through this.  He's gotten me through a lot.  He's a big dorky guy, an "Arrogant Mama's Boy Jock", he lifts things up and puts them down, and he's honest to a fault.  But he's mine.

The day I introduced Rob to Kayaking...
Something we need to do more of!!!

We don't have romance.  We don't have many adventurous outings.  We don't really seem to have the warm fuzzies most couples do.  What we have is what I wish other couples could have.  The ability to be honest, even if it hurts the other.  The ability to say "that hurts me", AND have the other person realize how important it is not to do it again.   When we are together, there are no egos.  I'm a bitch, he's an asshole, and we are ok with that.  We aren't perfect, but apparently we are perfect for each other.

Happy Anniversary, Rob.  I do love you.  Please continue to ignore me when I tell you to leave.