Reminiscing and Looking Forward

Its New Years Eve.  The day we say goodbye to an old year and welcome in a new one.  This leaves some people sad, some happy, some excited.  To me, its just another day.  Maybe I've become hardened.  Maybe I've become a realist.  But, I have "Become".  This year has brought so much into my life.  Some felt bad at the time, some felt good at the time.  Sometimes the good ended up being bad, and the bad ended up being good.  I've noticed a huge change in myself and the loved ones who currently live under my roof.  The roof we were blessed to buy this year, the roof which is currently leaking in my bathroom.  Good and Bad.

Cassie in NYC, in front
of the Ball!!

I've decided I like the change.  What was it?  Acceptance.  I have accepted my husband for who he is.  I've finally thrown out all those dreams and ideas I thought marriage should be.  Have I settled?  Not at all.  See, I've noticed that since I've accepted him for who he IS, I'm finding him working hard to become a better person.  I have accepted my youngest daughter, Cassie, for who she is and gave up on who I had hoped she'd become.  Have I given up on her?  Not a chance.  I still challenge her to grow, and grow she is!!

Since pulling her out of public school, and teaching her in a manner that she can comprehend, she can now tell you not only WHY we won the revolutionary war, but she can also tell you how we almost lost it on many occasions!!  She is now in charge of figuring out how much to tip the waiter or waitress at the restaurant.  Math facts that she couldn't do in her head before, she's now spouting out.  Why?  She is accepted, loved, and feels safe.  Now if I could just get her to read a book!! But that will come in time.

I would like to share a few things I have come to realize.  Life is about choices.  A teacher at Rondout High School, Mr. Thomas, told his kids that once.  I never realized how simple and important that lesson is.  That is my mantra.  Seriously... think about it!!  We ALWAYS have a choice.  When you hear someone say "I didn't have a choice", they are lying.  They just didn't LIKE the OPTIONS that were given when they MADE the choice they did.   I challenge you to be honest with yourself and if you honestly can not find the choice in a life event, ask me.  You may not like it, and I do have a problem with being too honest, but everything that happens we are responsible, because a choice we made brought us to it.

There are a few choices I've decided to make.  Resolutions?  No.  Choices.  I like being in control and I feel by making a choice, I have control.  I choose to accept responsibility for all my actions.  I choose to never be the victim.  I choose to say no to drama.  I choose to be positive.  I will find the stupid silver lining on everything.  The way I see it, I will fake it until I make it.  I may not do anything more than to annoy those around me... and I'm ok with that.  Annoying people is kind of fun.  So, people, and I told a friend earlier today, "You've got to accentuate the positive.  Eliminate the negative. Latch on to the affirmative. Don't mess with Mister In-Between".  

Why I Never Get Anything Done

Wow.  I've had the perfect Pitman kind of day!!  And I realized that it may or may NOT be my fault that I never get anything done.  I have a simple day planned out, and I never accomplish what I planned!  Today is a perfect example of that.  I had planned to send a report to our Autism Psychologist, go to our Autism Consultant meeting, pick up one last gift for Daddy, then pick up some groceries.  Come home, and make some more Christmas cookies.  See?  Simple.  Or is it?

I had to download a program so I could scan the stuff into the computer so I could send it...  accidentally downloaded the wrong program (ended up being from China...), found the right program, downloaded it, realized I had run out of time and forgot to eat breakfast.  Grabbed the kid, some snickerdoodles for breakfast, the other stuff we needed and ran out of the door without our Aldi's grocery bags --big no no.  Missed my turn but made it to the appointment in time.  During the appointment I realized, when Cassie pointed out to me that we needed to eat lunch, that I'd have to put lunch into the mix.  We went to KFC, and I've realized there are no decent KFCs in CNY.  The service here sucks.

Made it to Aldi's, realized I didn't have a list, and just decided to wing it.  I forgot more butter.  Bought some bags to bring it home.  Got home and realized the driveway was a slushy mess, so I had to shovel.  Came back in the house and realized I still needed to put the groceries away.  Put the groceries away, sat down to scan the documents, and realized I had to finish installing the program.  As I was doing that, and getting ready to scan, Cassie hollers that we have a leak in the ceiling of our bathroom.  I calmed her down, checked it out, and she was right.  As she was "indisposed on the toilet", I chose to go back later to see if it was wet, or an old leak we just missed.  Went to scan in the documents, realized I needed to in-dispose myself also, and while I was in there I remembered I needed to go touch the upstairs bathroom ceiling.  Then Marley came in to tell me he REALLY needed to go frolic in the snow some more.  So I took them out, sat down to scan the documents, and remembered about the upstairs ceiling.  So I went up, and yes, it is wet.  Cassie said she knew it was wet because it dripped on her... TWICE!!  <sigh>  Step-Brother said I needed to get an electrician in ASAP to move the light, so Cassie and I figured out which breaker it was and just turned it off for now.

I get back to the computer, only to find out that my report hasn't been attached yet.  So, I cancel it and start over.  Then I find out that Cassie is about to starve to death again, so I have to start dinner.  Thats when I think about this blog.  So, I start dinner, start the blog, and finish dinner, eat dinner, and now finish the blog.  It is now 6pm.  My report still has not attached to the email so I can send it.  I still have no more freakin' cookies made, and I'm wondering where my day went and why its not bedtime yet.  Meanwhile, I still need to feed the dogs and let Marley romp in the snow for a few more times.

CRAP!!!  I also just found out that Christmas is only a few days away and I have to clean my house.  <sigh>  So, is it my fault or not that I never get anything done?

Me & My Shadow, Strollin' Down the Boulevard!

Cassie and I have been more inseparable the past few weeks than usual.  In case anyone has forgotten, Pitman is working in New York City until December 22.  Cassie and I made the trip to NYC to visit with him, where all these cute pictures have come from.  But the trip isn't the focus on today's blog.  People have been worried about me.  "You need some ALONE time!!"  "You need some FUN in your life!!"  Oh, and my favorite "You seem to be lacking JOY!"  

Cassie and her Metro Card

Oh, really?  It is obvious that many people do not realize what goes on in our household.  See, Cassie and I do spend a lot of time together.  But she also spends time by herself.  Just the other day, I interacted with her for probably a total of 2 hours, THE WHOLE DAY!!  Actually, I kind of missed the little sprite!!   But then we have days like today.

Cassie and I left the house at 11:30 for an appointment with our psychologist, Cynthia.  We love Cynthia, but there were still issues because we usually see her at NIGHT, with DADDY, and the timing threw Cassie.  But she fought through it.  I was going to print off the directions of how to get there (Daddy usually drives), and Cassie assured me she knew how to get there.  I had actually hurt her feelings when I said I'd print out the directions just in case.  So, we compromised.  I brought the big Syracuse map along, and if we got lost, we'd use it.  I kid you not!!  We got there with NO PROBLEMS!!!  This gift she has still amazes me!!!

Terrorizing the
Animals at
FAO Schwartz

But the entertainment really started when we got to lunch.  She loves to do the activities on the kids menus.  There were Tic Tack Toe games.  She and I played 2 games of Tic Tac Toe on the train, and I told her I just dont understand it.  I said it again today!  "I just cant figure out how to play this game!  No one ever WINS!!" and she responded "Well, one player has to be smarter than the other."  Oh, yeah, snot.  See if we play THIS again anytime soon!!!!

Cassie by the old
escalators at
Macy's!

Then we were shopping for Christmas presents and she found "Miracle on 34th Street".  See, we watched the movie before we went to NYC.  She really tried to enjoy it.  I think she enjoyed it a little, but she really couldn't get into it because of one little detail.... its was in Black and White.  "I don't LIKE black and white movies, because its like its all wrong!"  But, imagine her surprise when she saw it on DVD in color.  "FINALLY!!!" she hollers out of no where.  I ask her what and she holds it up.  "They finally PUT COLOR in it!!!"  She was so relieved and excited, I couldn't help but to laugh!!!  But, alas, we got to the point where we'd been in the store just a little longer than desired.  "Lets get moving... I have a dead line to keep."  And I just about wet myself.  

Me & My Shadow!

This is normal for us.  We do a LOT of laughing.  Ok, I do a lot of laughing because of the things Cassie says and does.  How could anyone look at us and say I have no fun or joy in my life?  AND if the Lord wanted me to have "alone time", He wouldn't have given me the child He gave me, or the circumstances that caused us to choose home schooling for her.  But I appreciate the fact that I have so many people looking out for me.  It just goes to prove how totally blessed I really am!!!