Wednesday, February 29, 2012

On the Mend Musings...

Sven.  <sigh>
So, first of all I'd like to thank everyone for their many get well wishes.  I'm over run with warm fuzzies, flower, cards, etc.  My favorite get well gift from someone who will remain anonymous would be Sven.  When a woman is so sick she can't move and can only nap, dreaming Mr. Clean will come to her house to take care of her while her mommy makes her chicken soup, Sven is a nice addition.  But it got me to thinking.  Is it easier for someone like Sven, who has stomach muscles, to puke up his intestines than say, well, me, who THOUGHT she had a stomach muscle once but realized it was just a gas bubble?  Robert says no.  But then again, I'm not sure Pitman has any clue how a six pack works since he decided he isn't really a beer guy.

I did do something yesterday, besides take two naps that really confused Marley (who kept saying "But we DID this already!!!  Are you SURE its not playtime instead?!?).  Cassie and I packed up all her stuffed animals into 2 garbage bags for the move.  I found out that she is NOT real good at holding open a garbage bag while I peg stuffed animals at her.  I also found out that she things its a riot when Mom pegs stuffed animals at her.  Since Cassie is in the pre-adolescent era of her life, and there will be times I need to get her into a good mood, I will file this information in the back of my mind for future use.  I'm certain when she comes home from a typical day in High School, all sorts of pmsing and moody and upset because her crush just asked her best friend out for a sody-pop, all I will need to do is peg stuffed animals at her!!  That will turn her frown upside down and give Mommy a great big smile, a hearty laugh, and a warm "I love you, Mom!!!  You are the BEST!!!"  (oh, and I'm sure you believe that, because you also bought the Sven story....)

I haven't stepped on the scale yet, but yesterday morning I had lost 7 pounds.  Not too bad, if you ask me.  I'm just glad there is an upside to being deathly ill.  So, I'm pushing fluids, eating lightly, and don't think I've gotten rehydrated yet.  I'm not sure that is possible.  See, at my age you enter Menopause.  Yeah, I know... poor Pitman, boo-freakin'-hoo.  He has one just entering PMS stage and another entering Menopause.  Trust me.  He deserves this.  But I digress.  About menopause.  You get to do this really cool thing where you don't have to work out, but you manage to work up a sweat while you sleep that rivals any pro-sports player I've ever seen.  So I'm certain last night alone I lost another 15 pounds of water weight.  And I'll lose another 5 pounds from the activity of stripping, washing, and remaking the bed with clean sheets.  Oh yeah, good times.

So, I'm not 100%, but I'm good enough to get some work done.  I need to be ready when they finally call and give us a closing date.  I'm certain they'll call today and we'll be closing on Friday and moving in on Saturday!!!!!  I'm sure Sven will come help with the move, too!!!!

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Fear and Loathing in Liverpool

Some things just don't happen in our household.  One of those things is Mom getting sick.  Yes, I get sinus problems, I have irritable bowel, and a few other things.  But I do not get fevers and I sure as hell do not vomit. Why?  I dont know.  The first is my being a freak of nature, and the second one is choice.  I do not like it, there fore I do not do it.  Until yesterday when I did both.  There is a nasty stomach bug going around, and it landed right on me.  I really don't remember a lot about yesterday, so a lot of the stuff I will be telling is second hand knowledge, given to me by my favorite ASDers, Rob & Cassie.  

This is NOT Cassie..... she wouldn't be
caught dead being that close to me!!
We moved the Wii into Cassie's room on Sunday so she could watch her stuff and Rob could have the TV for sports.  Thank God we didn't move it back down, so Cassie was safely enclosed in her room all day.  Safely, because apparently our little girl is a germophobe when it comes to stomach bugs.  I do remember Rob coming home, and I saw Cassie at the top of the stairs, looking at me with wide eyes, which I could see over her white doctor's mask.  She was wearing her coat.  This confused me until Rob told me she was waiting on the step for him to come home.  She handed him a tissue and said "You better put this over your face so you don't get it, too."

Cassie called Rob 3 times yesterday.  One in the morning to tell him I was sick and he needed to come home.  Rob said he'd be happier staying away from me right now, because he didn't want to get it.  He told me that when I texted him I was sick.  I dont know if he told Cassie that.  Cassie then calls him later and asks him to pick up some Febreeze, because the downstairs STUNK!!!  Rob said he'd do one better and get some Lysol to kill the germs.  Then she called him again and asked if he was coming home yet, and he said he just pulled into RiteAid to get the Lysol.  Upon his entry into the house (I'm not sure if he was wearing his tissue or not) Robert proceeded to spray the house, especially the downstairs, with Lysol.  I'm not sure, but I think he sprayed me, too, but I was too weak to protest.  Then he got me some ice water, and Cassie got a hold of the Lysol and proceeded to get everything Daddy missed, like my computer, my glasses, my nap blanket, the sofa, etc.  She wanted Daddy to get my pillow cases, but he wouldn't.  She wouldn't, because then she'd have to go downstairs into the den of germs!

Rob then did something that fully amazed me.  He made Cassie and himself dinner!!  He even attempted to boil eggs for Cassie's salad, found out the egg is supposed to boil in the water for 10 minutes, and he only wasted one egg finding that out!!  He also cooked up some bacon for the salad, and that was the only time Roscoe left me the whole day.  I guess bacon trumps sick Mommy.

So, it was touch and go there for a while, but I'm now certain I will live.  Cassie has been scarred for life.  And Rob has a new cooking talent.  When I'm completely back on my feet, I will have to do something nice for  Rob and Cassie.  They were a couple of real troopers, and I'm so proud of them for dealing with this with absolutely no help from me!!!  I just hope the Lysol and masks worked, because I'm far too weak to deal with them getting it right now!!

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Amy's Slumber Party!

My evening away from home was a success on all accounts.  I got away for an Autism-free 18 hours, and nobody died!  Yes, there was a stressful moment when Pitman dropped me off at the hotel, when Cassie started crying and Rob looked as though he'd never see me again.  I tried to explain I was NOT going to Europe for a month....  I was staying in this hotel for 18 hours.  Robert was nice enough to holler out the window "Try to have fun!!"  A woman was standing there started to laugh saying "Yeah, like THAT will be a problem!!!"  Some people just do NOT understand what I go through.  But I did manage to have a blast!  There were a few times I became annoyed, I wont lie.  I knew I had to call home between 8 & 9 o'clock to say good night to Cassie.  I figured closer to 9 (bedtime) would be best, but I guess I was wrong.  At 8:10 I received a text asking if I was going to call my daughter.  <sigh>  So I did.  Then there was a time around 10ish when Pitman decided to remind me I wasn't home and he really missed me in a marriage kind of way.  I ignored it.  I think he expected that.

What did I do for 18 hours away from home?  I drank.  Please don't think I'm an alcoholic party animal.  I usually only do that a few times a year.  But I do enjoy a good margarita, or 20....  and its not everyday you can participate in jello shots!  Especially when you are the mom of Cassie, who feels mom's shouldn't drink alcohol and get a little silly.  I also laughed.  Yes, I laugh at home, but its nice to laugh at your friends humping each other instead of laughing at your dogs humping each other.  Oh, and I found out its funnier when you friends hump YOU than when your dog humps your leg.

I also got my hair cut and my eye brows waxed.  Yes, I can do that anytime, but there is something quite cool about getting your eye brows waxed at 11pm, after a margarita, or 20.  Do you know it hurts less that way?  Oh, and you really don't know what you look like until morning?  (I have less eye brows now than at anytime in my life.)  I also did something I never thought I would do.....  I got fake eyelashes!!!  I didn't realize how much I missed my eyelashes until I saw the fake ones.  Screw Botox, eye lashes take YEARS off your face!!!

So, it was a completely successful evening for all involved.  But they were ready for Mom to come home.  How do I know this?  Because I called Rob and told him to pick me up at 10am.  He showed at 9:25.  And Cassie has informed me that it was ok, it wasn't so bad, it was successful, and I can do it again.... as long as its another hotel 5 minutes from the house.  And its winter so they can drop me off.  She doesn't trust me not to go farther away if I'm in my own car!  <sigh>  Yep, they lived, but I guess we still haven't cured Separation Anxiety.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Its gonna be a LONG day!!

Good morning, my people! 

I would like to go on record as saying I hate all domestic animals, except Roscoe, who feel I need to be up at 4:00 A-freakin'-M on a Saturday morning.  Especially on a day like today.  What is today, you ask?  Well, I will tell you.  Today I am going to a hotel to spend an evening of fun with a bunch of women.  It is called "Amy's Slumber Party".  (for more information, here is the link:  http://www.93q.com/Article.asp?id=1042253)  I have never done this, but I am going with high expectations. 

I know that I will be going with two of my friends, Jenn & Jess.  These are two of the sexiest women I've ever met.  And sweet.  So totally sweet that every time I leave their presence I have 2 new cavities.  They are also known for their hard-partying, but Jenn is with child, so it will be a little calmer than normal.  These are also the girls who, along with My Mo, who cannot attend due to a recent surgery, who introduced me to mani-pedis.  They are truly a bad influence on Pitman's checkbook.  I also know that I will be meeting a bunch of their friends, and we all know how much I like meeting new people.  To say I'm nervous is an understatement.  Besides, I'm 44 years old and the last time I had a "sleepover" with a girlfriend was my 19th birthday party.  I remember this because I drank a 5th of peppermint schnaps, made a speech from the hood of my car, and passed out at my friend CJ's house about 10pm.  That was also the last time I got "completely shit faced". 

I think its a good thing to note that because of my impending evening away from home, the Autism Monster is reigning high here at the Pitman house.  But we are fighting through it.  Robert really surprised me the other night when he said he was "scared" about tonight, but no matter what, he was going to make sure I went.  So, there you have it.  I will let you all know how it went, including the calls and texts from home I'm sure I'll get.  After all, separation anxiety is something they will be dealing with.....  until 9pm when Cassie goes to bed and the SU game comes on. 

Friday, February 24, 2012

Times are a changin'

I'm sorry, dearest blog, that I have ignored you for 2 months.  In that time we found a house, applied for a mortgage, told we had it, then told we didn't, then applied to someone else who said it was a slim chance, but then told yes.  Then told the assessment came out good, but then told they needed another, and today is the day we were supposed to close, but aren't.  When are we closing?  No clue.  So, on the top of the list of things I am NOT doing today, is closing on my new house.

What else am I not doing today?  I'm not munching.  My mom, her bestie Gert (actually Marilyn, long story) have joined Weight Watchers, and I'm supporting them by joining online.  I'm certain I've lost 29 lbs already.  OK.  That's probably an exaggeration, but I'm good at that.  But, once again, I'm happy to announce that I have neither gained nor lost any weight since May of last year.

Lets see, something else I'm not doing today?  I'm not vegging by myself, resting up for the weekend.  Cassie is on "Mid-Winter" break.  She is supposed to return to school on Monday, but I took her out of her school thinking we were closing today.  See paragraph one.

What I am doing today is cleaning my fridge, packing up another box, and waiting by my computer like some love sick teenager pining to see their crushes name on their Caller ID.  Come on, Greg Baby!!!  Email me, call me, text me, just ask me for that date.  I'll bring lots of money, and maybe even a Weight Watchers muffin!!!!  Just PLEASE give me a date!!!!!